Sounds like a piece from a message board called Ell-Oh, where DeMiSe used to reign supreme , am I correct? Anyway, nothing strikingly good or bad; unfortunately, it landed in the vast level of mediocrity. If I was you, I'd start from the beginning - pick a more complex topic & build on it. . You've got potential & a lot of people will like that style, but, unfortunately, it doesn't quite float my proverbial boat. G'luck!

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