Mmmm. . I write an open mic only to see that the same topic is on the front page lol. .

Think your open mic out before you write it. . What you're going to do in it.. Cause most of it seems kinda random to me. . Also ditch the "//" at the end of your bars. . Don't restrict it to that format.. allow the rhyme scheme to "spillover" into the next line or two..