check..

I've hit a new low, and the fatal blow enlightened me,
and frightened me so much, I'm honestly writing these..
Hoping that with each tear I'm choking back today,
my subconcious will flood itself, and slowly wash away..
The dam is overflowing, with overpowering feelings,
to make me pray that staying alive stays appealing..
But I'm slowly losing faith with each breath I take,
I'm playing poker with myself, my entire life at stake..
And I'm pretty sure I'm bluffing, but yet I'm still afraid,
that this will be the last game I ever want to play..
I'm betting on a bad hand, but my cheeks are flushed,
to the point that touch is now too much of a rush..
My spine is tingling, my nerves are on the edge,
as my entire existance flashes inside my head..
I've read of other people, who feel about the same,
but their endings all begin with them going insane..
Brain power is low, and my core is slowly melting,
and the pain inflicted inside of me is only helping..
Me see the wrong side of the line I'm walking on,
but each time I try to explain, I'm talking wrong..
It's a life long struggle, but really how long is it,
absorbing the impact, but waiting for stronger hits..
The longer this goes on, means the longer I will suffer,
so metallic suppliments will become my last supper..
The barrel is the tunnel, the light must be the spark,
and when trigger pulls my mouth is full, but empty is my heart..