This was a decent drop... the thing that threw me off was "da" but that's you and how you chose to type things so yea. I was reminded of how I used to write when I was younger... changing around the sentence structure to get the word that I want at the end of the it. And things like that change the effectiveness of the peice over all. Because the mind will change it back (or at least mine does). I'd say overall work on structure, content, and vocabulary. The overall point and the thought of it were on target... jus writing aspects.... peace