You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get deleted...

But this was alright i thought....your structure was pretty decent here, it could be a bit better though i think cause some of your lines are shorter but it happens sometime, you should try for the same length in lines...Your vocab in this was decent i thought as well, could be a bit better though....Your flow was off at points and try adding multies in this to help it out...but overall this was alright....keep at it.