I'm dead awake sleeping, deep thoughts creep in
Apathetic weaping, glorious vicacious reaping
Boundless imperfections, un-unified sections
Uncontagious infections, unneeded painless injections
Intact thoughts shattered, mind under matter
Decending stepless ladders, atomic bonds scattered

after that it went bad....

the imagry was well dont here and the idea was good
stick to a rhyme scheme next time.... the initial part had great flow and was working well for you