i thought this was a good read and kept me hooked.
Structure i thought was the worse thing but the short lines did help create tension.
wordplay could be improved but was good in places.
vocab was pretty average, but you'll get better with time.
good drop though and even better if it was ur first 1.
overall good piece.

hit my rhyme
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96675

cheers