Damn....I can tell you put a lot of thought and time into this piece....with lines that make perfect sense like "u like THA neddle and im tha drill" and a closure as twisting as "u hummpin yo dad/you know so much thats y u write bout fagz/" we can all tell this is instant legend worthy.

But seriously, you need to think of some better topics other than "I'm going to kill you" and work on your lines. Some are like three words long and then some are full paragraphs it seems.