u jus need to keep writing a u'll become good.
again wordplay wasnt all dat, and vocab could be improved.
try add more multi's and try and make u flow stay on a not driftoff as much.
overall not bad since u've only have 14 posts, keep writing.
and if u dnt a three links to replies, this is gonna get shut down.

hit my rhyme
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96675

cheers