wow.
this was actually a decent topical battle.
not that I'm surprised

hmmm who to start with....

whitelightning: Your flow was the best part of the entire verse. Which is not a good thing, I must tell you. Your content was all played out, man! everyone has read pieces on the troubled youth and the whol columbine fiasco. You can't disguise a lack of originality with large vocab and flow, homie.
You did have some quotables, though:

best bar in the whole thing. You also forced a few lines (just noticed it as I scrolled up for quotes). Corrosion and Association don't rhyme.
My best advice for you is to add a hard hitting opener and go from there. Everyone has written a piece that start with "A Picture is Worth a Thousand words". It's even in an Atmosphere song.
Not a bad piece overall, but you have a lot to work on.

deacon-wow. I was not expecting this at all. I knew you were a good writer, but, damn! I don't know anyone other than Cam, who can write a verse that length and have that many quotables. and Yours is full of emotion, and is just fucking awesome. I don't even know how to describe it.
you, on the opposite side of Wl, need to work on flow. I could see the flow of the piece, generally, but it fell off in places, and made it generally hard on the eyes. Your metas were wicked, laced with multies and internals. You jerk. I can't write like that.

I quite enjoyed that. My biggest advice to you would be to try to even out your bars. It usually helps out the flow and gets rid of any un-needed words, which you had a lot of.

Once again, this was actually a good battle, but it was kind of one sided.

Vote-Deacon

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