im new to rb but i wrote this yest. and would really appreciate feedback..

i cried me a river that led to an ocean
spilled all my feelings and spread out my emotions
you told me you loved me so i let my heart open
then you said it was over leaving me crushed and broken

i tried building a bridge that would cover the pain
but in the past you walked across it and took all i had to gain
you got to the other side before i had a chance to change
and once again walked away leaving me full of shame

i threw my tears in the river along with my soul
and let the currents flow take total control
as i slowly walked across, the swinging bridge couldnt hold
all the weight i was still carrying, so it began to fold

i felt the rope shaking from this side to that side
so i turned and looked back and saw you trying to hide
i realized you were pulling me back, making it even harder to try
so i stopped trying to run i decided just fight it back or die

i pushed you back trying to get out of your sight
but you shoved me over the rope, i started praying for life
then you reached out for my hand trying to make things alright
i trusted you one last time, and you watched me fall thru the night

i hit the water like concrete; gasping for some air
waves crashing me against the rocks slamming me here to there
then you dove in swimming after me like you cared
and i tumbled down a waterfall, why cant this be a nightmare?

after the long drop everything became calm and smooth
and i attempted to get out the water but i was struggling to move
finally, i was washed onto a shore, all broken and bruised
i freelycrawled on the beach, and vaguely still saw an image of u

CAN I EVER ESCAPE YOUR PAINFUL PLEASURE?
OR AM I TRAPPED IN THIS ENDLESS TORTURE FOREVER?


thanks...

__________________
my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~