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Old 12-10-03, 08:07 PM   #24
Split.
Suspended Suspense
 
Posts: 689
From: Denver, Colorado
IP:

ill shit fo sho... nice concept, had meaning, and sounds like your family life is nothing pretty, but with that said, flow was great except for when i came down to the father, his whole part of the story kinda threw it off track, but you caught your flow back as soon as mom showed up, everything was impeccable, great concept again, enjoyed reading it, only thing i could find to bitch about was the dad parts flow being off...
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