i think everyone's been in a similar relationship. The peice's structure was of but I won't penalize her for that, that could have been your fault
The vocab was on a lower scale but then again it was her peice not yours so I would think that she may have not been writting for a really long time or that she's had constructive critism from a site like this to tell her do's and don'ts... but there really are none in poetry, just what people think are good and bad... The idea of contradicting her self is really what made the reader get through this peice... at times it was slow and dragging but it would pick up, I noticed that more when it was in the paradox stages, if you will... I like it because of the contradictions other than that it was an overused cliche'.... good peice but could stand to be elevated. Tell her to join and get active... peace