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Old 12-12-03, 03:35 PM   #2
Menik
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Posts: 2,017
From: Mifflinburg, PA
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This was alright here i thought....kinda long but it was alright...all verses seemed structured pretty well, except vanes last one kinda shorter lines but it was still good....it flowed pretty well together i thought, stayed on point through out it mostly, kinda fell off at points for me...vocab in this was alright could be up'd though..and try adding some multies..keep at it.
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