If i were you I'd work on getting good first before i worried about being deep.

i don't mean to be mean, but i've seen too many amazing things and terrible things to care about your shitty rap. so far it sucks. the concept is beyond me because i don't think you have one. the 3rd part shows potential in thought. but it wouldn't hurt to cut that part too.

thanks for wasting my time by posting your shit in the wrong forum.

peace

p.s. stop uppin' people aren't responding cause they don't want to hurt your feelintgs.

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I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.