im mad..peeps slept on this..this is a good piece..if ya read it twice u can get more into it like he said..each line got more meanin than it seems...structure is off...u digressed a bit and it wasnt much emotion...but its not a bad piece..i suggest sum1 take sum extra time thats why im uppin this piece..give the kid sum advice..

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my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~