Lampejo, you forced a lot of rhymes...Myself kind of did too, but they did rhyme to an extent.

'happened'
'bend'
'holocaust'(hall-a-cost)
'fall on us'

Lempejo, your storyline was nothing amazing either...imagery was okay. All you did was...what everyone has been doing for years, and many of them have done it better.

Myself had nice imagery, some nice internal rhymes, and overall a slightly more creative topic.

v/ Myself