this was just a random piece that i started doing and just kept writting to it, i appretiate the feed back, the best thing is the honesty,i know i need work and its been awhile since ive been on RV, but i think one of my best pieces was "a body with no soul" that i think was one that i had the most fun on. but def. will take your advice in upping vocab and rhyme schems.
thanks.

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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father.