This is the first geniounly dope battle we've had in the league. Both were evenly matched and came with nice pieces. I like both your writing styles, Unreals metaphors are sick and Miss Behavings story/verse style is original and done very well.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by I am Unreal
Envision this: perforated kids in a darkened basement…
Bodies stacked like Adam’s rib rack, missing containment
Insane met grace, yes. The killer’s art is his asylum
Locks away his pieces with other’s who’ve signed them.
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That was dope as fuck from Unreal, but he kind of fell off after that. I loved the imagery in them lines but you kind of missed the mark with the rest of your verse. Your idea was nice and if you spent a little more time on it could have been dope as fuck. I thought your rhyme scheme was dry at times, especially in the last 6 lines. This could have been rectified by better flowing rhymes and some well placed internals. Don't get me wrong, you dropped well but instead of being like "FOMGZ THAT WAS DOPE!" I'm just giving you tips to improve.
Miss Behaving came with a nice piece too, which was a little rushed in some places but overal potrayed a dark story which conveyed emotion and desperation. I liked the metaphor of the train leaving the station symbolising his humanity and reasoning leaving him as he raped the woman. I wasn't sure if you meant it but it was nice nonetheless. Your description was good as well, though one of the lines really jumped out at me as forced.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Miss Behaving
fast, more demanding, she stood sharply to blot away
too late, he grabs her wildly hard, commanding, no choice but to stay
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Apart from that your drop was very good, and I'm very glad you're writing again. Good battle but I'ma give this to Miss Behaving for a more descriptive and better executed piece. I see both of you in the Champ match in future weeks so keep writing.
V/ Miss Behaving