i mean this was your frist drop so i cant really diss u like that...
but this isnt really good your line are way to short and your not saying much with what u got give full details and drop complet idea's you cant possible drop an complet idea or consept useing just 3 to 4 words on every line unless you was doing multis which are words u ryhme back to back to back which u didnt do...
the flow was ok.. the creativeness was lacking and you need to drop full sentence which will help you out alot....

keep writing since this was your first drop you will get better..

why dont you drop by my open mic and give me some feed back...

its called... Calm The Fuck Down...