Originally Posted by BigChase

IM-nice piece okay emotion but you shouldve focused omore on the pain of his marriage/your envy because that wouldve allowed some nice emotions to lfow through...and you couldve ogne in the direction of how you deep depression you went in/how you tried to ruin their life or ruined yours but ok/good overall...kinda followed a storyline but ehhh didnt cut it 30/50

Enygma-dman kid nice piece.........good subject........could feel how ya hated him in da beggining...and ended up hating yourself for not loving him/envying.....good emotion it flowed.....oyu knid of followed a sotry nice piece 35/50

v/Enygma