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Old 01-22-05, 03:14 PM   #7
anxiety
...
 
Posts: 4,917
From: colorado
IP:

Closer battle than i expected...

Valor...

You stayed on topic well, and you came with quite a bit of emotion... The two main things in your verse that i see room for improvement, are imagery and flow... Your flow was extremely bad in some places... But you made up for a lot of it with that ending, that was a dope way to end off your story, and a dope way to end off that topic... Overall it was a good read, flow was the major thing i had trouble with...

7.5/10

50...

You also stayed on topic well... And you had better imagery than Valor, and some pretty good emotion as well... Your flow managed to be even worse than his, which i find amazing... And about 4-6 lines just came off as being extremely herbish... And I wasnt feeling your ending that much at all either... Still a pretty strong verse...

7/10

V/Valor