Word, I liked it and my only pointers are really that in some spots the description is good.. but other places it feels a little dry, like it doesn't really add an atmosphere and for readers it can feel a little boring trying to picture something that is lacking in certain descriptive imagery.

I'm not hating, because I only found a couple of small spots where the writing quality sort of falls off a little, but for most parts it is good.


But yo, for any future original works.. you should try posting them up on www.fictionpress.com because that site is beast. It has like over 1,000,000 writers.. some who aspire to be published, some who do it for fun and some who have been published. Its a good place to get some good feedback from people who aren't just gonna hate like a bunch of idiotic morons. Also, you can build up a bit of a fanbase if you are good enough.. make some potential customers for future published works.

That is where I drop my stuff anyway, at the moment I have took everything down and am in the process of rewrites and shit.

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