in your system
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IP:
ehh, i have to say, i wasn't really feeling the rhyming on this one, i felt it took away alot from the overall message being thrown across; i thought you rhymed a whole bunch of words that seemed outta place, they didn't really fit context, in some places
but, it was good, i think the way you wrote this, would have been alot better to do in audio, just because of your rhyme scheme......hmm, original, which is good, keep up, not your best, but still enjoyable
Then in disappearance, I’m gone in a long resistance
And still I have a strong subsistence to wrong assistance
By conflicting pain, I create such a restricting shame
As my strength gets harder, I’m constricting fame
ending was solid, keep up.
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish
FLY FREE
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