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Both pieces were really good... You both touched the topic well, albeit from different perspectives.

filed-

Quote:

MANY
whispered conversations, i've taken part in,
Formed
dark evil plots, spoken freely thou sin,
Cursed
loud rudley comments, directed at God,
Yet....
every night i said my prayers, but they tend to be fraud.

The opening here weakened the poem for me... I know its a minor thing, but typos/sloppy spelling and grammar really are important to the impact of the piece. Especially in the opening verse.

Quote:

Still
to somebody out there, i must owe an ass kiss,
For
all my missbehaved actions, no doubt they dismissed,
Given
me more second chances, when all else gave up,
Taught
me some deep heard advice, like how to stand up.

The message here is good, but the ass kiss comment cheapened it to me.

Quote:

Not
once put on hold, help was always right there,
Got
undivided attention, and love hard to bare,
Taught
to walk lightly, with my head held up high,
To
have the whole world in my hand, to belive i could fly.

This verse is where it picked up. I really liked this one... it really spoke of counting your blessings, and recognizing the fortunes you have been dealt.

Quote:

I
must have bee given birth, under one lucky star,
For
blessings ive been given, cover the earth twice as far,
I
owe every living breath i inhale, to God almighty up above,
To
him i give my presence, soul, and undying LOVE.

A beautiful ending, although I am far from religious, and can in no way associate with you here, I do feel your emotion, and earnest Thanks in the last verse.

Overall, I enjoyed the message of this peice, it was just the execution that I felt let it down a little. When wanting to write something as emotion felt and sincere as this is, then presentation is important to really show your pride in the meaning of the poem. The flow was okie, at some places it felt a little off balance to me... but as I said, it picked up in the 3rd and final stanzas.. just those first 2, as the introduction to your piece, let the rest of the write down.

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Ayngel-

Quote:

Sittin wit a knife at my wrists, just ready to get to slittin,
Everyone tried to convince me, at first I wouldn't listen,
They told me that my life wasnt at all just pure evil,
In this life of horror, their are some caring people,
Theres more good things just to outweigh the bad,
Great memories amongst the bad ones we've had,

You opened this well. In just a few lines you have set the reader up for the rest of the story... We know from this that you are suicidal, but you dont dwell on that here. You write it short and to the point, because thats not what you want your message to be. It was nicely done.

Quote:

They told me, look, you've got a man that loves you,
Do you want to hurt him by what you're about to do?
You love him, we see it in your eyes, the way they shine,
Everyone dies eventually, and now is NOT your time,
Theres so many more things in life you have to see,
We'll be standing at Graduation Day, where will you be?
Watching us from heaven, wishing you were there,
You tell us you dont right now, but we know you care,
You're going to miss prom, fun shit with the your friends,
You've got a lot going for you, you're many blessings,
You're smart, with beauty to compliment your brains,

Every one of your lines carries a message. I really liked that about this piece, it contained so much information and feeling, that a majority of us can relate to, without over working it.

Quote:

Everything they told me just always sounded the same,
But it had me thinking.. i have everything going for me now,
Friends, Beauty, Brains, A Good family, just a few to bring me down,

Here, I experience your mind, and its train of thought, as it travels into enlightenment...from hearing everything people tell you as just words, to finally understanding that you are gifted. That you have reason to be Thankful..

Quote:

So I got to writing this poem, my one true blessing, a good escape,
Life hands you situations - its up to you - of what you make.

A great ending.. with a poignant message, and written well.

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I felt Twizted Ayngels piece more that filed, perhaps because I am a believer that faith in yourself, and not in another.. is the first step to happiness..
But when it all comes down to it, I do think that Ayngel's piece was penned better. I am a bit of a stickler for grammatical usage, and sometimes a piece is strong enough to carry poor grammar, but other times, it only serves to weaken the poem.. for me anyways.
Especially under these circumstances.. ie a competative write, and the topic of the pieces.

Kudos to both of you, but I can only choose one, and I have to go with Ayngel's piece..

T.