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Old 10-05-07, 05:42 AM   #15
La Cosa Nostra
Bangs like bikini attol
 
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I get the feeling you didnt even write this to a beat.........

Unless you got some weird fucked up flow that I cant see when its read.....you needa work on using proper bar structures that keep your syllables to a similar level so it works on a drum beat.. Write it to an instrumental and jus keep rapping it as if you were recording, thatll help you with your flow..

Also
Not to mention your punchlines need massive work.........Try and use more interesting and cool sounding concepts or wording........Some of your shit sounded like you had your hand on your dick the whole time you wrote it...

Jus work on your vocab so you dont use out of place words that sound wack..

etc etc
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