A more original story would be not doing a picture of a guy in the clouds about heaven... but yeah on with the vote

Sane-Your vocab was meh for the most part and your imagery was good... the rhymescheme and lfow was very on point and didnt really fall off anywhere... also i liked the direction you chose.

Sin-Your vocab was great in this i liked the use of words and it didnt really seem forced... also your sylabal count like soulstic said wasnt really that graet but who gives a fuck about sylabal count i dont do that shit when i write and noone usually complains about it with me... your imagery was decent but your emotion lacked alot actually...

V/ sane for doing the best... blah blah blah..

No hate though to etiher good verses

__________________

-CS- -
Stayin Fresh Til Death
- Think you can write?
SIGN UP FOR WAYT NOW!!!

5x PS HOF
2004 Poet of the year
3X writer of the month