Not bad....your writing at an beginner level, not much imagry even tho its filled with an easily depicted emotion your word choice and vocabulary could be better to add more depth and interest to the piece but still its a pretty complete drop which deserves props just work on lengthing it out so I should end abruptly and although this may be a personal experience that many whom started out can relate to it's however a mediocre topic which has been done countless times. Not bad though and also you shouldn't use slang or slanted rhymes in your piece just to make it flow....slang isn't good for writing and if your going to abbreviated words abbreviated them all to show consistancy.

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