this isn't great to be honest :

- The lines were too long packing too many syllables into each bar, leaving your flow non - existent

- Topic was extremely dull, self - hype and gangsta talk are extremely played out and only appeal if they're delivered with originality

- Structure is very annoying, bars should never go all the way across the page, and the ......... do nothing

- on the positive side, you should some use of inners and a slight understanding of multis, but you could still improve a lot on both of these

Keep writing fam

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