Thread: Make A Change
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Old 08-07-08, 05:45 AM   #4
In-Vision
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From: memphis
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huh.....this piece would be much better if you had a little more organization...this was all over the place..it's really hard to get into when theres not really any transition from one idea to the next....and then it goes back to the idea from before...it jumps here..and jumps back...and then jumps somewhere else completely....imagery wasn't really that great....message wasn't that profound or thought provoking...and technically..you could use a lot of work.

however...you're head is in the right place...and i see a good ammount of potential..keep workin at it...and you'll be dropping gems in no time.
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