this is smooth bro. Imagery is what stood out in this, vocab could of been extended a bit, (aswell as the length of the peice)

Tried so hard to make everyone proud,
And forgot about all of his dreams.
Now he's living the life they all wanted for him,
But he's voiceless with a head full of screams.

This is decent. ^

The peice isnt highly original, but blah, its a good read.