Alpha - It was pretty decent. I was thinking it was an improvement from my expectations in a way, but in another way it wasn't. I was expecting a bit more, not as in talent or skill, but as in depth of the piece. I was kind of like, lost. What happened to make him hospitalized, who were his loved ones, why did he feel that way, so on and so forth. You did, in fact, have some nice word choice and vocab. I was suprised by that, lol that was the last thing I expected from this league (no offense to anyone). You had some nice end rhyming and I see mad potential behind your writing... I think I said this last week but you remind me of me when I first started out writing, dope shit dude.. keep writing.. Just keep in mind what I said about the whole depth of your piece, keep it going and inform your readers whats going on...

Civil - Right off the bat, this is sick. I like it a lot and I've only gotten to the exact words "Thoughts". Dope shit so far... Well shit son. You fucked up the good vibe. I just finished this shit, I mean it wasn't bad but it ruined the whole 'this is dope as fuck' type deal I had going. You had some deep context, but the fucking rhyming fucked me up. I was so focused on trying to stay with it that I had to re-read a few lines twice, sometimes three times just to say it right because it didn't sound right in my head. To me, they seemed forced entirely too much, you should've sat and chilled for a while after writing the first stanza, because it was dope... When you feel that you're forcing shit, you ARE. Don't think, oh, this sounds good because I fucked with it for 3 hours.. Hell no, more than likely if it didn't sound good the first time it wasn't good to begin with. Anyhow, I still liked your piece a lot, but I was hoping for your whole piece to be as good as the begining. I'm disappointed in your mu'fucker.

v/Civil.

Dope shit for showing both