Can't believe it happened again. So what i'll do is give a less deconstructive run down.

witness the beauty or sit in this mutiny
i'm gifted with your presence light or life
my eyes were unopened, but it was love
at first sight, so new to me, but it hurts
it tears apart my celestial thought pattern
as you take it out of place and leave the
neat rows above my head scattered

You made a blistering start. Really got right into it with a kind of heartfelt yet fairly well thought out intensity.


It went on from there, slowly getting into a steady 'groove'. Yet keeping that great intensity. It was ended well enough (the first stanza, big as it was), though could've been better i guess. Just didn't seem to go with the piece too much.


The second one was equally as intense. The imagery maybe even more beautiful. Especially towards the middle. It's hard to quote from the second one, even more than the first. So i wont really try. But was especially caught by the 'clouds' part.

Finished it off with a power. I could see you were trying to give an epic ending to a piece that was quite epic within itself. But i felt overall it didn't live up to it. At times it did, very much so. But then you did over do it a bit. I felt trying to hard to 'squeeze' it out...

Nonetheless, the ending was good. And overall, though the last didn't live up to the first two, it was still very good.


So all in all, what do i give this?

9.5

But no, wait.

I have to deduct something because of posting 3 days late. Though you did say you'd post it that night or the next day. It was still not there till 2 days later. And as Deacon and The End have adopted a fairly tough stance on this tournament. We got to look at things more cold.

So 9.0. (-0.5).



Which means


Vote: Dagyrlremarqbl