January 1, 2004
"Its Not Fair"
Why is it that what ever I want I just could never have it...
I've done alot of good deeds, I just don't understand it...
I've always been there for him when ever i was needed..
N i even forgave him after the times i was mistreated...
But wen i heard the words, "im in luv" i couldn't believe it...
It hurt alot inside after da 100 times he would reapeat it..
Now dat i know he's in luv, I couldn't ever show how i feel...
U have no idea how hard it is to have mah luv concealed..
When ever he gets close to me, at times I just want a kiss...
N i just want 2 tell him, jst once! then forever u'll remember this...
But I still can't say it, show how i feel, cuz he's wit someone..
Damn, I'll do anything for this to change, just to get it undone...
Its wierd knowin i fell for someone i knew for a short time...
Only 6 months, and everyday I want him to be more mine...
Without him! My life will be more worst then u'll ever imagine...
And its my life, and even I don't know wut could even happen...
Yesturday I was wit him, i was just about to go express mah self..
Then he says saturdays their aniversary, then mah feelins agen i held...
Damn, I've wished too many times for that day to be ours...
But it won't happen, cuz the person that luvs him is a coward..
Whenever i see them kiss, I always imgaine in my mind...
That im the one kissing him, I imagine dis all of the time...
I should stop thinkin like dis cuz im gettin way too jealous...
That she will always have him, n im alone like the other fella's
January 1, 2007
"The News"
My heart shatterd into a million pieces wen i heard the news..
That he was going to get married next year, january twenty two...
I keep thinkin in my head, "they were suppost to be broken up by now"..
My minds full of jealousy while he's sayin,"im gettin married!" out loud...
I give up now! even though i want him but i guess God won't let me...
Always forever till the day I die, Da person marryin him i will always "envy"