FLow all I can is. WHAT THE FOOK?! You are doper than me, yet I feel you didn't hit this topic nearly as close as you could've. I almost cried when I read it after Osirus's. I was all like, damn. And some advice might be to lose the "/" at the end of each of your lines, if you have to put it, put it at the end of a bar, or a certain rhyme segment. Some of the creativity wasn't really there.....

Vote/ Osirus, for the more emotional and better imagery descriptive language verse.

Good job though, just dissapointed flow that's all.