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Old 09-23-03, 04:45 PM   #11
DaGyrlRemarqabL
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Anyways...

Interesting topic and nice, NICE effort put forth by both fellaz. The joy was REALLY hidden..lol...

N-Demik~
Wow...Very well written...Content was interesting and was accentuated even more so by the eloquent vocabulary and knowledgable references..Very complex piece, I liked the ending, also.

"Piloting to guide the vanity stimuli, but inner hope is submerged
Lost soul preaching that if the joy is cloaked, how can we find the words?"

Great ^Line and subtle reference to the topic...Nice.

"But he isn't looking back...In fact thats the freeze frame forever seen
from your broken parents dream, as your grubby nails unpicked the seams"

^That line was incredible....Brilliant imagery, good way to get the message across....I really liked this piece.
Nice job Demik.

Understatement~
YES. I loved this verse. The first five lines pulled me way in, great style and execution.

"Here We Are In The Beginning; No, Hope Is Not Yet On The Lord's Chart
Thousand Words Paint A Picture;That Doesn't Create An Artist's Heart"

The rhyming couplets line was nice too....Really great way to start off, beautifully written.

"Who's Heaven Sent? And Who Really Gives Up Love For Lent?Not Ever You
So Teach Us Pain And Death And Abstinance, It is What You Have To Do
To Teach Me Why The Sky Is Blue, And What To Do To Cheer Him Back Up
Father Time and Yaweh Are Fist Fighting Cause Mother Nature Is A Slut"

This was soooo captivating..It made me think, and the imagery in the last line I quoted was humerous but then quickly turned serious as the message filters thru it all....I loved it.

"So Comprehend These Words I Send; Sit And Comprehend The Eternal Hope
And See Just How Far Your Friends Will Stray Because Of A Simple Joke"
I really like that line..Has a lot of meaning to it.

And lastly:

"Your Skeleton Is Roughly Shod, You Don't Understand, Turn To God"

Great conclusion, along with the final lines it italics at the very bottom..very moving way to end the piece..

Ummm, to be perfectly honest I read these and I knew right after which one I wanted to vote for...You can't really complain much about either of the two verses, two very talented poets, both brought great interpretation of the topic to the table..so really, it all comes down to which one reaches the reader more, which one has more to offer the mind's eye...Which leaves you with a greater feeling after reading it...
And for me, in this case,
It was Understatement's verse.
All around, his verse had a greater impact on me as the reader.
Great job by both tho.

VOTE: UNDERSTATEMENT

ps- I still love you, Rook

Phrantik's will be the deciding vote.