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Old 10-12-05, 03:43 AM   #6
LADY_LYRICAL
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this is pretty good, topik is deep n no, bullshit tech -9 rhymes ...
i think try to b mor creative in the lines swap n switch words around wid
mor emotive ones rather than 'sad / tragik broken/distruction c the difference
an try usin mor bigger volcab but dont ova do it , try usin mor creativity eg. mor multi's similies, metaphors n dat, however u rhymed it fluently
and u cud c the passion for this topik in there but it needed to b let out a lil mor

gud post / 8.75 - keep droppin
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