"I want to do audio, I have nothing at all. I don't have a mic. I just have a computer with speakers, so where do I go to get this shit?"

hmmm...lets analyze these sentences to find out why your not gettin' a reply....
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1. you want to do audio....
^^ok.... this can be ... you want to start emceeing.... or you want to start producing...// at this point your target audience(us) are clueless...

2. you don't have a mic....
^^the only way for an emcee to convey his thoughts is to cop a mic... if you don't have one then you need to get one... // now if your trying to be a producer/beatmaker... then there's no need for a mic

3. all you have is a computer and speakers?
^^we're still clueless

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i'll ask you this...... are you tryna make beats.... or are you trying to spit some bars?