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Old 08-20-08, 09:21 PM   #2
In-Vision
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From: memphis
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pretty decent piece....at times...the rhyme scheme was good...at other times..it was pretty choppy...but i liked the story...pretty powerful on more then 1 level...fairly well written...i'm not going to list examples unless you are interested(if you are them pm me) but theres a lot of lines..that could be quotables...had you of worded them...not better...but..different....i don't see a lot of OM's from you...actually i think this is the 2nd or 3rd i've read...but you are definately coming into your own as a writer when it comes to om's...keep workin at it man...and let me know when you drop next.
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