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-Real Time-
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IP:
Quote:
Originally posted by Content
I guess ill be the first to attempt blessing this tournament
before everyone else does surely*..why...I dont work today....
~Full Circle~
'scream phoenix',once the chains are broken you shall
expand 'your wingtips', (child birth)~1~
emotion sickness might set in but with perscriptions it
can be extinguished, ~2~
'the past is the past get past it dont ask if' you would ever~3~
like to change the way that anythings happened ~4~
just elevate all aspects of hope floats for the future, ~5~
confirm your cordinates interact with subordinates,~6~
respect authority amongst this diaper dandy
ecosystems producers,~7~
your an oak tree be cautious of your branches
'making more friends',~8~
steel structures cant be broken down by hands of 'porcelin', ~9~
attending church services isnt 'required' just dont be a 'liar',~10~
treat your spouse right keep your mouth tight till 'post morteum', ~11~
what goes around you know the rest angels in the
outfield are 'supportive',~12~
so you can stroll through that city of love as a passionate tourist', ~13~
conserve your emotions little one existance is 'exausting', ~14~
play it safe dont let your kismet coincide with 'something costly', ~15~
now you might think im babbling on and you might remain
'unsure of me',~16~
but when you experience a childs birth you'll experience 'purity'* ~17~
~Full Circle~
*Kismet = Fate...its a synonum for fate...
I wish nothing but the best for addlibb and
everyone else taking part in this elevation process...
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Hmmm Nice Verse, Content Wise .. The Structure Looks Like Ass..
Seriously, Uneven Lines, Threw Me Off Quite A Few Times Man..
Work On That And Your Verses Would Be ALOT Better
Quote:
Originally posted by AddLibb
Tossed in rigamortis, the shroud held places,
and violently shook beyond looks of faces,
faded ever so shiveringly into the unbranded ground,
The unfounded sound, echoed..epervesintly into the background.
Amongst the rabble, unsheilded whispers roam free
unknowing to the herd, they plot against plauged disease,
Spreading the thoughts of misted missletoes in the breeze,
everknowingly making sure the locked cavity isnt set for release.
Around it sounds is aside of the cliff we hang,
Swang and shook in the wind,
We paraglided back to the feathery bottom,
and as the canvas rolled over me with great uber essence,
i asked him o describe this full circles presence.....
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Your Content Was Alright, Structure Was Alot Better Than Contents Structure.. But Over All , In This I Feel That Content
Came Harder, More Emotional And An All Around Better Verse..
Vote: Content
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