momsuxx - I liked the story line, but it was very predictable that there would be a verse about something being done behind a camera. The vocabulary was very simplistic and not out of the ordinary at all. It made it easy to read but it was sort of boring. The emotion and imagery were nice, but they could have both been deeper with better choice of words. Diction is what makes writing good or bad. But good write and keep writing.

Sane - I really was into the theme/story line of your piece. Wasn't expecting a death sentence kind of thing.. But just like momsuxx, your vocabulary was kind of dull and not very complex. This brought down the imagery and emotion as well. You did however use better vocab than momsuxx and the read went much better.

Overall - I think the story line is what it is coming down to here cause' everything (vocab, emotion, imagery and structure) else was about equal to the fullest here. Sane's vocab was a bit stronger than momsuxx's though. So my vote is going to Sane for more creativity and a bit more complexity.

Enough said, good luck to both and keep writing both of you.

\V/ - Sane

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