well 1 of ur problems is that u have 3 words in 1 line. try and make it more lengthy.

for example:

the whole point of a song is to use words to express your feelings. But only having 3 words in 1 line is unacceptable. You need to extend your lines so you can establish some sort of flow. And not that vocabulary is necassary but don't make it like you have nursery rhymes you know what i mean?

no hate ..i mean your hook is meh...the whole ABBA rhyme scheme...yo could make it catchier.

but just keep working on it, u should get the hang out if.

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A LIFE OF CHRYME