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Old 10-09-04, 07:47 PM   #15
schema
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Triple_N
Like deflated parachutes leavin' ya on "ground"
Imitatin' "russian rulet losers," only good for 1 round
setup line was blah...punch was sick...if you had the time to really think this out i know it wouldve been sick as hell
Like "white bigots" on da police force I "shot-a-boy"
If ya vying for victory why can't I spot-a-ploy
nah...
U lose more then "lifers" do of there lifetime
U couldn't spue hot shit if ya deficated on a mine
this shit had me laughin...again with the blahness in the setup but not as bad this time...good punch
You must crossbreed ya verses, dogyear rhymes
7 to 1 winnin' ratio, only infants been "KOed" more times
its walking the line between creative and corny...its ok but not the best...
All ya dope is sticks an stems, drop dimebags of self lies
U could put "mike hawk" on stilts an not "rank" high
pretty good closer...

this was good for a key...not a stellar verse but not that bad...id say mediocre...i see little seedlings of dopeness everywhere but not much is developed...pretty good punches..decent flow...alright verse altogether...


Dopeman
Dogg I'm So Complex When I Step In The Ring They Renamed Me ''Mr.PERPLEX''...
Nobody Would Feel Your ''Scriptures'' Even If U Posted Them In ''Codex''..
my blahness meter exploded...what is codex?.."mr.perplex" is kinda corny...plus it doesnt rhyme
U Wouldnt Even ''Cum'' With A ''Hot Spit'' If U Performed ''Oral Sex''..
You So Dumb You'd Miss The ''Point'' Of My Disses Even If They Were Marked With A 50 Foot ''X''...
*borrows another blahness meter from For$aken*...ok let me start by saying *blahness meter explodes* GOD DAMN IT! umm...oral sex/spit lines are on the first page of the played rhymes book...the punch was mediocre but the setup totally ruined it...
Your Records Got U In ''Dreamland'' Like Your Part Of The MATRIX..
This Kids Steppin To ''Sick'' Rhymes That'll Leave U Needin ''Pediatrics''...
here you go you are coming around...this was better...the rhyming is weak but i want it to work for you so ill give you a pat on the back for this one...you are starting to think outside the box here which will eventually develop into being a sick rhymer...not here yet with this but im starting to see potential...
If My Verse Is ''Tighter'' Then I Hope Like Some U Dont Resort To ''Dick Ridin'' As Your TACTICS..
I'ma ''Disable'' Ya Flow n Have U Postin In The Thread Thats Strictly For ''Spastics''
no...
This The ''Writers Block'' An Your Sentenced To ''Life With A Pen''..
After This Verse 'NOW NIGGUHS NOTHIN' Is Why They Call You 'Triple N!!'
"(n word)(n word)(n word) is why they call you triple-n" is played but ill assume you werent aware of that...good thought in the begginning but it wasnt hard-hitting...second line was blah...

i know i sounded hard on that but just laugh it off thats how i am...your flow is fucked but not as fucked as theyd have you believe...i know exactly what you did...you wrote it bar by bar concept by concept and never went back and read the whole thing...i have the same problem sometimes you just have to go back and look at what you are doing...your verse wasnt terrible but it wasnt good either...you need more practice you arent ready for writers block...i dont hate im just giving you advice...do what you want with it...



v/Triple N...better punches and an overall feeling of being more streamlined and less scatterbrained
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I got the lettuce and...
...you turn green like cucumber skin
Got the new hummer in the summer when I was a new comer then...
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