My heart's become scathed from past situations unchanged
Regrets influence future decisions,while previous hurt remains
Inside my mind I relapse, rewinding time like motion pictures
Always falling for the same traps, escaping through written scriptures
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this was ok and what you mean hearts?
simple creativity and overall nice 2 bars you got there
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Wishing I could go back, edit out every single problematic altercation
But in my head i realize that i'm far past these altered situations
Still i reminisce, screaming internally, so many things left unsaid
Wondering if it could've been different, had i spoken up instead
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pretty good dogg,nice vocab and shit like that
pretty good creativity and nice werdplay in a sense of mind
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And how many more oppurtunites, will i choose to carelessly overlook
Hurt floods my heart overwhelmingly, one regret was all that it took
I'm still standing defiant, but have become weakend by my lack of action
Trying to progress forward in my life, but steady slipping without traction
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yea this is getting in deeper as you continue wit ya verse
i felt you had some good emotion in this one
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Certain instances left me feeling helpless, spiraling easily out of control
Bearing burdens, being selfless, in order to lift the weight off my soul
As i shed these outer garments, a new being has slowly transformed
Never again shall life surpass me, even if i must deviate from the norm
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ok this is like you finding a closer in a sense of mind
pretty good approach and basic imagination and shit like that
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So as I find function, settle down, and assume my role to play in life
Never stray, defy junction, in order to eliminate all the pain and strife
Eyes now filled with acceptance, my actions created these false results
Now, finally fulfilling my repentance, owning up to every one of my faults
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ok you could of ended this a little harder,not much emotion on this
but it was still pretty good,well overall 9/10 in a sense of mind
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On my back my chest convulsin open heart to the air....
eyes slowly closing, pulsing as i moan in despair...
put my hand to my chest blood covers my fingers in red...
Release the muscles in my neck..I can feel the hot lead...
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wow hahaha sounds like you got shawt in the neck lol
well had mad emotion and pretty creative in a sense of mind
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We were just talkin what happened? all this for rappin?
thats what i get for gum flappin and pullin my like i was clappin...
why did i even have it..scared packin for self protection..
look what it got me a shot straight to the midsection..
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damn well dogg how you gonna talk if youve been shawt in the neck?
this second part of ya verse wasnt all to great very basic kinda fell off
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not enough energy to speak so i stare blankly at my assailant..
raise a hand to try to stop him but it falls to the pavement...
he takes my gun out my coat and points it right at my face...
for a split second i look back on the events to figure out what took place...
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wow you got back into what you were striving for haha good
now you get it right when you didnt have energy to speak
well this was an inprovment to the second part,pretty good flow
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"what up bitch"...who a bitch?....you a bitch?.....wha?
"watch what you say motherfucker"..."get that fuckin bitch man"
"oh you got a gun".....bet your too pussy to pull IT..c mon bitch pullit..
I put my hand on the handle bout same time i caught the bullet..
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wow not really feeling this that much kinda blah,sorry man
remember you have been shawt in the neck and midsection
so im not really feeling the altercation taking place here
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I heard a loud sound then again my eyes could see..
I was at heaven's gate i approached and st.peter asked me...
Do you truly believe you deserve a life of everlasting bliss...
In shame I bowed my head as i fell from Grace into the Abyss...
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ahaha nice closer on this one i liked it a lot hehehe
very basic but i liked the last line in particular
but its kinda choppy when it comes to difining "regrets" in a sense of mind
overall 8/10
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both of you keep elavating and nice job
vote/Diverse for explaining the topic more directly