Atticus: Reminds me of the Shining. Did you have that in mind? I like the first paragraph, but the rest lacks the imagery of your other pieces. Sure it's decent, but after the first four lines it just becomes kind of boring. I think the scariness lift when you started to say 'Ketchem'. Ash Ketchum, Pokemon Catcher! It read like a poem-version of The Shining, and there wasn't much imagery. Why is he angry at the kid? Because he has to provide too much for them? This could've benefitted a lot from better imagery. It just seemed predictable and no lines caught me as being innovative.

Loosenuse(it's spelt noose, by the way): I don't really like the way people feel the need to load their pieces with repetitions of the suffix -ion, and it seemed to me you found the rhyme first and then slapped the words before it to make a sentence. There are errors that take away from the piece: random capitalization that detracts me from getting into the story, some messed up grammar. Also, check your PM, man. Didn't really get into your piece that well...

I'll have to come back in a bit and re-read when I'm not so tired, but I think I'm leaning toward nuse.