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Old 09-30-09, 01:01 AM   #8
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
IP:

I enjoyed the read!
Could of been a bit longer and dug into the depths of the peice. But it was still a good read. Your vocab is decent, nothing mind blowing, but for a brainless audience I guess it pays to dumb it down. lol. rhymes are simple. Structure is on point and the peice flows nice.

Best Line
Isolated freedom distorts my vision & breathing
under lock & key so long my hairline's reseeding

Best Rhyme
Breathing ... Reseeding

Worst line
technological advices ensure I detail a plan B & C
bashing my fist against the wall like I'm using T n T

Worst rhyme
B & C ... T & T


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