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Old 12-18-06, 01:22 PM   #7
Heychoo
Middle Weight
 
Posts: 583
From: tennessee.
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It started off well, but towards the end of the first stanza it seemed as if it died down a bit....I really think your rhyme scheme hindered it a bit, but hey, it's your style, do what you want to with it. The second stanza to me was a bunch of broken cliche's, but I still liked it man..Good writing, keep it up.
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