I really am unsure of why everyone is propping this so hard. All hate aside, as a poet... I really didnt find to much in this. First off, the topic of 'Poverty/Political Ghetto' is one that has been done so many times that the bar for a poem of this type has been set so high that anything that fails to reach it isnt really worth any praise once so ever. I mean, the topic has ALOT of room for originality and creativity... But in my eyes you just took a very direct aproach. Just straight up stating what you see... Which has been done time and time again.

The emotion of this piece is the only thing worth any kind of recongnition. The whole way through your emotions felt very authentic and true, rather than alot of times when kids try sooooo hard to be deep and its just so apparent in their lines. Emotion is a hard thing to describe... It's either felt or not, you cant really explain how it gave off emotion, but this piece did. So I comend you on that.

Imagery... Eeeeeeeeeh, wasnt really anything at all that stood out to me. You really need to work on and hone your descriptive writing techniques. Metaphors, Similie (even though I hate those), hyperbole, ect. There are so many great ways to insert imagery, and really, to pull in the reader completely you should have imagery because it makes the poem alot more engadging. With the topic you took there were soooooooooo many places were metaphors could have been worked in... And had they the piece would have been better.

Lastly, the structure. Hoooooooooooooooorrible structure. It's clearly just a free form poem but still, even free form should have atleast some sign of organization. Next time try to... Even up lines, just get then relitively the same length; try and break up your poem into seperate stanzas if possible (and it was here), pay attention to grammer and punctuation (spelling was fine, but add punctuation).

But ya, like I said... This piece really wasnt anything special. Im not even trying to hate or anything, but ya. No one is really be honest in breaking down your poem which in the end is only going to hurt you... Because there's no way for you to elevate if everyone just says what you've done is perfect when in truth there are lots of things you could do to improve. Stay up and keep writing man.