Thread: Where i live
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Old 11-28-05, 02:48 PM   #8
Lampejo
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Ya, Im not saying that's what makes a poem you retard. I didnt even say they had to be the same length... I said relitively the same size. That just means not one that 3 words and one that's half a page length. Besides, even if he did make everything the same exact size, it still lacked to many other elements for it to be concidered 'dope'. The thing about the lines was just a side note, something I personally like. I broke down all its actual elements before. And evening wouldnt make it boring, it's just for apperance... You could just do line breaks and it would reed the same as it does abobe, just look better. Ex: (Original) 'I live
In a world where priests abuse children
Not in dark alleys
But in the same church of their lord
Where police murder our sons
And we’re raped of the culture we once had
Forced to modernize for our modern day oppressors'

(Modified)
'I live...
In a world where priests
abuse children not in dark alleys;
But the same church of their lord.
Where police murder our sons,
and we’re raped of the culture.
Forced to modernize
for our modern day oppressors.'


I dont know, it really has to just be written into the form... But ya, even that is alittle better in terms of apperance. But whatever, i'm done argueing.
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