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Old 04-05-03, 12:03 PM   #5
Rhombus
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I was feelin' this piece kidd...

Quote:
my mind is a bubble and i dont mind if it rumbles.
but often a sound so suttle will make it fall and crumble.
so i cuddle with my pillow every night and every week.
and sip a cup full of clarity and enjoy to watch what i drink.


Your wordage was very well rounded in this piece, a tad on the abstract route and that did a nice job for this piece. The flow was even more enhanced due to the internals used here, nice.

Quote:
bloods sing blues as my life of everlasting depression gets plastered.
a pessimist? half full. no my glass seems to be already shattered.


Again the flow was carried along here smoothly, I liked how you stayed here, giving us bits and portions of that abstract feel. The wordage again I have to mention was displayed very good, sign of great creativity.

Quote:
a fall into the thick of it and meet a sinking monster with hands.
and i fall into it and die. as if pussy was quick sand.


Wordage is great once again here kidd, the feel of this piece seems as though it was from an introspective point and how you feel about certain events. Emotion lacked a bit and that could have seperated this piece even more and made it more noticable, but the abstract feel and the wordage were enough to carry this piece along very well, nice piece...

love...
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